TORN

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldnt be that man I adored
You dont seem to know, dont seem to care what your heart is for
But I dont know him anymore
Theres nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
Thats whats going on, nothings fine Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn

So I guess the fortune tellers right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I dont care, I have no luck, I dont miss it all that much
Theres just so many things that I cant touch, Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn. torn.

Theres nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
Thats whats going on, nothings right, Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and Im ashamed bound and broken on the floor
Youre a little late, Im already torn

KAHIBANGAN

Bakit kaya ang buhay ganito kung kelan mong gustong kalimutan ang lahat saka naman bumabalik ang nakaraan. Unfair di ba? Masakit !! Sinasabi mong okay ka pero sa kaibuturan naman ng iyong puso hindi eh,nandun pa din ang ala- ala. para kang mabubuwang na patiwari gusto mong takasan ang lahat, bakit ganito?

Nilulunod mo ang iyong sarili sa mga kaibigan online,maski pagbblog ginawa mo na rin. nakamaskara ka nga ba? Di ba nung una okay ka na. wala na yung sakit? Bakit ngayon umaatungal ka pa? okay ka lang?

Makinig ka naman tama na kahibangan mo, makinig ka sa mga kaibigan mo, lumabas ka, mag ayos ka, huwag kang magmukmok , mahalin mo ang sarili mo. Di lang cya ang lalaki sa mundo. He is not your lost, lumabas ka sa comfort zone mo, you are just wasting your time thinking of him! Me napala ka ba sa kakaisip sa knya? Iniisip mo kung okay lang ba siya, pano na ang kanyang business, pano na ang kanyang health, inuubo pa rin ba cya palagi, natutuyuan ng pawis kasi walang aircon, lintik na buhay to!! Natanong mo ba sa sarili mo kung naisip ka rin nya?

Yan isa pa hinahanap mo pa rin ba ang tawag nya, ang text nya? Nasanay ka na kasi sa araw araw na ginawa ng Diyos, walang palya kung siya ay magparamdam. Titigan ang celfon , mahihiga, titignan ang oras, nakaprogram na yan sa sistema mo sa haba ng panahon na ikaw ay nag ilusyon na kayo in the end. Ganito ba talaga kung ikaw ay umiibig?

Teka pag- ibig nga ba talaga to o nadala ka lang sa sitwasyon? Mahirap maipaliwanag , mahiwaga talaga ,walang eksaktong explanation kumbaga lusong ka na lang, mag ingat lang kung hindi ka marunong maglaro talo ka, at least pag natalo nasubukan mo naman,

Teka, teka nakatulong ba to sa pagkatao mo? Me natutunan ka ba o kaya tanga ka lang talaga? Nagbubulag bulagan maski alam na ang katotohan...
Mag isip ka, tama na ang kahibangan mo. Ikaw lang ang makakatulong sa sarili mo!! Maski anong payo ang gagawin sayo kung di ka naman makikinig, wala ding mangyayari ..sarili mo ang kasagutan, wala ng iba pa!! PARA KANG SIRANG PLAKA.. PAULIT ULIT!!

I'LL BE OKAY by AMANDA MARSHALL

It's time to let you go
It's time to say goodbye
There's no more excuses
No more tears to cry
There's been so many changes
I was so confused
All along you were the one
All the time I never knew
I want you to be happy
You're my best friend
But it's so hard to let you go now
All that could have been
I'll always have the memories
She'll always have you
Fate has a way of changing
Just when you don't want it to

Chorus

Throw away the chains
Let love fly away
Till love comes again
I'll be okay
Life passes so quickly
You gotta take the time
Or you'll miss what really matters
You'll miss all the signs
I've spent my life searching
For what was always there
Sometimes it will be too late
Sometimes it won't be fair
Chorus
Throw away the chains
Let love fly away
Till love comes again
I'll be okay
I won't give up
I won't give in
I can't recreate what just might have been
I know that my heart will find love again
Now is the time to begin

Chorus

Throw away the chains
Let love fly away
Till love comes again
I'll be okay
I'll be okay
I'll be okay
I can't hold on forever baby
I can't hold on forever baby
I can't hold on forever baby
I'll be okay

UNTITLED

I am used to write a poem for others, and I want to do the same with you now,
I am thinking what to write as I tick every ink of this pen, I wonder why I can’t
I need an answer to this question; I am organizing my thoughts, thinking beautiful words that best suit you…

My mind won’t cooperate but my heart’s says go on… come on…. You can make a good one!!!
As I am lying on my bed now, I got a pen and write…Words perfectly flow in my mind BUT the POEM I WANT TO WRITE CANNOT BE PUT INTO WORDS….

I wonder why…. I can’t find no answer…
Until I realize that the answer is not with this pen and paper…….
‘COZ THE POEM ITSELF IS YOU!!

october 23, 2007
7:34 am
after teaching

WHY ME ... YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE THE PAIN

There are times you think everything is ok, you think pain is no longer there
you laugh as if nothing had happened… you want to escape

pretend that you are in control where in fact you are not.

You tire your mind and self just to forget….. but at the end of the day it’s still a torture
You can’t no longer picture his face, you can’t no longer think of the happy moments with him, you can’t no longer think he exists and became part of your life but deep in your soul he exists and the pain lingers… and as if you want to tell him … WHY ME?

You can’t blame him for he’s been good and you learned a lot from him but why love can cost too much emotions which makes you think the world is so cruel where in fact you’ve been good …you sacrificed and became selfless because of him …..and ask yourself again WHY ME?

Love is in deed a gamble, if you are not ready to be hurt don’t indulge yourself …. If you are ready to fall in love then you welcome yourself in the world between sane and insanity…. You laugh hard, burst into tears, do everything in the name of love and sometimes you forget that you have your own life to live…to forgive is to forget but let yourself go through the stages of hurting coz YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE THE PAIN..

SUMMER CHILLAX '09 calatagan-tagaytay-nueva ecija ROADTRIP

SUMMER is the best time to relax with family and friends, being away from home, I joined my friends in the neighborhood for an exciting and fun experience going to three different places in three days.

Here are some of the pictures I took, hope you'll like them..^^

the ever famous Taal Lake of Batangas

Chow time in Nueva Ecija -we were invited for the Christening of Nanay Nene's first grandson

I love this "balsa ride" though i can hardly balance myself.. i still enjoyed it.. inggit kau noh?


wow what a scenery.. sunset in Calatagan Batangas


Bangka Ride



Balsa ride


A silohoutte of a Chinese Gigolo .. peace man ^^





Sunset


The summer house of the Chairman (who?)



what a view.........


censored: --- starfish starfish panu ka ginawa? ^^



THE DUSK..... let's face it .. we are not getting any younger




beautiful starfish






i love this pic..... you'll shine amidst of failure



emote kung emote..dane being the model





jellyfish..touch me not...


the sirena, the butanding, ms. tsunami and the nanay of the neighborhood



hi !!! kunan mo naman kmi sweet^^



the salty swimming pool







waiting for the room we stayed for a night



overlooking Taal Lake

Tipidtrip Family

(first chapter with permission)

As I was teaching on the eve of April18, 2009, I came across the status message of my friend Rachelle spreading the site http://tv.tipidtrip.com to be exact. The ever curious ME asked her what cooking on that site, she told me “check it out girl,” it’s her friend's site. Hmmm…. I can’t wait to visit , so as usual the multi-tasking ME visited the site……(shhhh!! huwag maingay baka malaman ng mga Koreans ang ginagawa ko habang nagteteach sa kanila. Kaya nga tinagalog ko na eh..obvious ba? hahahah!!!)

At first, I was reluctant to join the chatrum....the ever taas isang kilay ME (hehehe) observed and I was in “BASA “mode. Then a certain Nexusbytes patiently answered questions from a certain Angevil (di lalaki-di babae(di tiyak) love you bunso!! I can’t wait to see you wearing a gown) then there was a certain Alaskanumber1 from the land of the Kangaroos which made me sigh “mahangin ba sa labas?” oh my its..not only windy but the whole community was taken by a storm!!! And of course how can I forget the bedimpled so “papable” and heartthrob of the community Niwre17…paging Erwin.. labas na po.. anjan na si ______ hehehe (that is another story)

Hmmm…before going further what made this encounter special?.... this was the HUDYAT for me to join.. coz of the CHEESE….and what about that cheese? The story about WHO STOLE MY CHEESE…(sino ba ang nagnakaw?) that cheese that made everybody special and to some …cheesy!!!- where I found myself in the bandwagon of online community friendship in which I abhorred and reluctant to join before but with the assurance that Tipidtrip Family is a wholesome community then the taas isang kilay ME joined.

The following day April 19, 2009, another brainchild of the brilliant mind of Nexusbytes (the owner of the site)was born and named it http://forum.tipidtrip.com …then of course I joined again and now I am glad to be one of the pioneer members of the forum.

But mind you, his first born baby is now 2 months old and was born March 1, 2009. http://radio.tipidtrip.com where you can choose a variety of AM/FM stations not only in the Philippines but other parts of the Globe. And so with the TV stations which cater Live streaming and lots of movies to choose from.. (san ka pa?)

Ohh before I forgot there is also a Friendster account of the community that was launched on May 11, 2009. http://profiles.friendster.com/tipidtrip

Here is a testimonial made by the bunso of the Addam’s Family:

angevil

Posted 05/17/2009 2:13 am

YOW waZz up!! Know waTzZz in? and watzZz not? Sa Lahat ng mahilig mag TRip dito sa INTERNET!Pwedeng pwede na kayong manooD ng TV en Makinig ng RADIO LIVE!!! YES parTY PiPOL.. LIVE na LIVE!!! saKOp BUong bansa! mapa PinaS! ChEYniZ! pang KAno! pati pang BritON mapapaNOod mga ShowzZz nila sa TV LIVE!... And maririniG ang mga SoundZzZ MUsic LIVE!Meron din FRee Chat FREE regisTEr JuZ SigN up!!Double Click lang Dude!!

Diz POrSyoN is Brought YOU by...ShaMpoLA WAffer Stix

THAT’S ALL FOR THE DAY FOLKS…next time na yung iba … hehehe!!! Happy reading po

UMPISA (May 20, 2008)

Minsan nagising na lang akong wla na pala akong trabaho, naisip ko.. ano na lang gagawin ko sa buhay ko, matulog, kumain, magcomputer, nuod ng tv na walang cable....hayyyy..... sa una boring pero pagnasanay na boring pa din.. hehehe. di naman sa ganun me pinagkakakitaan pa naman sa awa ng Diyos laking tuwa ko dahil palagi niya akong sinasalo when i am down.. naks ingles na un ah.. sabi ko sa sarili yoko ng gumamit ng ingles nakapag papaalala lang sakin sa mga hinayupak na koreanong namumuhunan sa ating corrupt na bansa...matanong ko lang manhid na ba talaga ang ating gobyerno o shall i say ako ang nagbubulagbulagan na kuno di ko pa alam ang kalakaran sa ating bansa.... teka mas updated pa ata ako sa balita sa korea.. magbasa nga tau ng korean herald na mali mali ang ingles....ngek kasi po nasanay na ako na yan lang pedeng ibrowse sa ofis... o kaya sa BBC na lang... OMG maQA ka p dahil wala kang American accent.. yan pa lintek na American accent na yan.. mano ba namang aminin na lang sa mga kliyente ng company na OI PINOY AKO,KAYUMANGGI ANG AKING KULAY maski na lang kung me lahi ka ring koreano wahhh!!!..HINDI EH kelangang magpanggap ka na AMERIKANONG HILAW ka na tga ALABAMA, CALIFORNIA, FLORIDA,NEW YORK, EPAL atbp......OIST!! huwag lang PINOY kundi LAGOT ka papatawag ka WARNING na naman yan magbilang ka na.... UMPISAHAN MO NA!!.....pilipit na nga ang dila mas lalo pang nagiging pilipit sa kakapilit na magkaron ng accent. hay buhay nga naman......w8 hayan na memo mo kc alam mo namanB BAWAL kuno cge pa din.... hhhmmm what? me bawal ba? hahahaha... cge issue na ng memo- minus 500 yan sa incentives, tpos late ka pa ng tatlong beses.. magkano kaltas dun? tpos QA pa 1000--- waahhh ANO PA NATIRA.. kya mag isip isip na kayo......AKO? dininig ng Diyos ang panalangin ko na by April wala na ako sa ofis.. hay... nagkatutoo nga sa kakaibang paraan lang.. GOOD RIDDANCE na din.. nangyari na ang nangyari at least i left with a smile and with head up high...AYAW ba naman akong harapin ng DIRECTOR hahaha... KAYA si TOM ng HR pilit na bumuo ng complete sentence sa ingles kkkkk...ANYWAYS ang motto nga ng company-- THE DOOR IS WIDE OPEN FOR YOU.. YOU CAN LEAVE!!!!!!!!!...oi anjan na c PEDRO PENDUKO!! NO LOITERING!!! hahahaha lagot ka ky jhacky..UTOS NG HARI DI MABABALI!!!

P.S.sa mga kapatan ko sa ofis salamat salamat ^^ di nyo lang alam kung gano ako kasaya.. di nyo ako iniwan...pasencya na over due na tong pasasalamat na to sa blog kasi andami kong gustong isulat dito to make a difference kaso medyo busy din tau.. maski tambay para di kalawangin ang utak.. wabyu guyz^^

isang P.S. pa pacensya na mami becca, bruce at sarah di na ako magmimini mynimo kung san kanino ako san u order ng fud...hhahaha

pahabol na P.S.censya na sa mga di nakakarelate sa blog na to.. mga kapatan ko sa tindahan ni aling nene sa me boni.. lalo na kay miguel kasi tambay din cya kagaya ko ewan ko lang kung naunahan na nya akong gumawa ng istoris ng life namin sa grupo.. watch out for your kwento here..babush for now!!!

LOVE IS A FOOLISH GAME TO PLAY


Stop hurting my feelings, spare me from heartaches
How many times do I have to suffer from love is it not enough to hurt and test how will I handle different emotions
Did I do something wrong that will cause too much hurting?
Am I being selfish that I don’t deserve to be loved truly by someone for being me?
I don’t like to be lonely anymore being alone can’t kill me I want you to see my worth
Stop playing with my feelings I can’t be the perfect woman but I can give the love that a woman can give without reservation and more than anyone can offer
I am not a martyr, I just want to show love and feel how to be loved by someone whom I loved
The pain is searing deep in my soul that keeps tears unstoppably flowingBe blunt and tell me the real score, is this really friendship that you are offering or you just fooling around to see my REACTIONS being the dumbest woman when it comes to love
When is this emotional suffering ends?
Am I ready to give up and forget you?Could it be easy for me to erase you in my mind and heart?
………..I HAVE NEVER LEARNED……..

I told myself that I will never be jealous even if you will have other woman in your heart but it hurts me much when you told me you have someone newI long to hear from you our endearment HONEYFRIEND but I haven’t heard from you from the past days and even in SMS
You laughed at me when I learned that you are with someone else when I reacted
Are you playing with me, stop it Ley I had enough
I know that I don’t have the right to argue with you but you pampered me and now I am sufferingI know I can surpass this
but I hate the feeling that will totally engulf me when I realize that I have nothing to give you coz you’ve drained me emotionally
...and even our friendship can’t survive…..

MASQUERADE

It is hard to pretend that you are ok if you are not really ok. How many times have you stumbled and fall for committing the same mistake? Have you ever asked yourself if you are worthy and you deserve how people treat you? Blinded by illusions and never considered reality…. though it bites it will trigger you to come back in the world you live in... Though its complicated you have to struggle... survival is the name of the game...
Is really life fair to everyone or you are the one who is being unfair to yourself? Have you ever loved yourself.... considered yourself as YOU and never depend totally with others?
Have you been considered by others as YOU and see you as YOU without repercussions? You are surrounded by beautiful people with beautiful minds but is there an assurance that their hearts truly beautiful and speak what their minds want them to convey?
What matter most to you? Is there equilibrium? Have you ever been understood by others without any qualifications or they decide based from what other people may say?
Do you have the guts to step forward and make a difference and tell everyone that you did it because of love? ... The only answer to the questions is YOU….The world is cruel for those who do not see themselves as they are... never pretend that you are somebody wherein fact you are not...life is so absurd that is the fact... though it hurts, you have to face it...sacrifice.....Let them realize how priceless you are.....
...you will only regret if that person is gone in one fingers' snap...